January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March

Got really excited ..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ..... box said "2-4 years!"

April

Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid ..... wrong instructions .... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June

Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July

Lost breast stroke swimming competition ..... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August

Got locked out of my car in rain storm ..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September

The capital of California is "C"..... isn't it???

October

Hate M & M's ..... they are so hard to peel.

November

Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911. "Duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!