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#26453
Tue 16 Apr 2002 02:55:AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 36
Astronaut Level 2
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OP
Astronaut Level 2
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 36 |
Bizarre 'Sex Accidents' Suffered by Blokes... <br /> <br />A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, <br />and with blood dripping down his leg. When he removed <br />the coat, the doctor saw he had a geranium <br />inserted in his penis. The man had got the flower <br />in without any difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, <br />the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the urethra <br />and ripped it to shreds. <br /> <br /> <br />A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a <br />night shift to his wife preparing breakfast. <br />For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of bread <br />around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up <br />and took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery <br />to restore the damage. <br /> <br /> <br />A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine <br />solution into his penis to heighten his sexual pleasure. <br />After enjoying intercourse with his girlfriend on not one but <br />two occasions, he noticed that his erection was <br />still at its full glory. Having struggled to sleep <br />through the night he woke up to find his boner still standing <br />proud, but due to him worrying about the police finding out <br />about his possession, and indeed the use of an illegal substance, <br />he decided against visiting his doctor. <br />However after three days of enduring headaches and nausea, <br />caused by the constant trouser swelling, he went to the hospital <br />in search of help. He was admitted immediately and referred to a <br />specialist who diagnosed lack of oxygen to vital bloodstream's <br />in his body, as the cause of his sickness. He was given <br />numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but <br />shortly afterwards developed blood clot! s in various parts of his <br />body with gangrene setting in. As a result he lost both <br />legs, nine fingers and his penis. <br /> <br /> <br />You may want to grit your teeth before you read <br />this !! This is really gruesome... <br /> <br /> <br />When a mate was studying in Ireland, he took up <br />rugby. As his first season wore on, the lads and <br />him were eventually scheduled to play a team which <br />had a reputation for violent play. Considering that <br />they weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, <br />they decided to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude, <br />hoping things would eventually swing their way. <br />They didn't, and to make matters worse their star player <br />dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle. <br />He was clearly in a lot of pain, so they all stood back to allow the <br />medic to, in one swift movement, slot the hip back into its socket. <br />Then Alan began a long blood curdling scream. <br />To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles <br />had also been jammed into the socket and was now <br />firmly held in place by the hip. <br />Incidentally, he also managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming.
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