Hi to all out there taking the time to read about my experiences with Child Protection agencies.

I am Bella, 27 yrs old with 2 kids. My daughter *S* 10 yrs and my son *H* 8 yrs.
My problems with Child Protection started before my daughter was born, I was about 8mths preg and Child protection started calling me to see how i was going,.
Being just 17 i was stupid enough to think that this was ok. I was at the time living with my boyfriend who had some bad problems some i knew about others i didnt. He was often violent towards me also had drug and alcohol addictions.
I gave birth to my daughter and 6 mths later i left him and went home to my mothers. I was suffering from depression and just didnt feel like i could cope with my life i was fighting with my mum all the time and didnt feel i could stay with her any longer, so i rang Family Services ACT and asked them to help me.
They suggested that i let my mum look after my daughter while i got myself sorted out eg:on medication, somewhere to live etc.
I followed there advice and let my mum care for my daughter now 8 mths and i left my mums home.
I felt so alone and down i went back to my daughters father and put myself back in a bad relationship.
I became totally isolated and even more depressed. I then fell preg again and had my son.
The minute i gave birth the nurses were on the phone to CARAU, Child At Risk Assessment Unit, to alert them that i had given birth to my son.
That afternoon the worker from CARAU spoke to my mum and told her she was coming to the hospital to visit me and my baby. My mum asked the worker if she had alerted me that she was coming to visit?, She replied with "no I'm not going to warn her i am coming she might leave".
3 days later i was allowed to leave with my son. I attended all the baby clinics and such then DOCS Queanbeyan called me and told me they had been given a report about me and would need to come and check on my baby, I allowed them to visit.
DOCS came around 12noon and said that everything was ok, My home was clean my baby well cared for, clean and putting on weight. The cot was made up and the bottles sterilizing.
DOCS left.
At about 6pm that night there was a knock on my door, To my surprise there was my Docs worker, her manager and 4 police officers with a court order to remove my son.
There was nothing i could do.
They took my son and wouldnt tell me where they were taking him for "the protection of both the boy and the people who would be caring for him"
My son was placed in crisis foster care.
I was allowed supervised visits with my baby for 1hr 2 times a week then 3hrs 2 times a week at a nominated facility.
This occurred 4 times then i was allowed to have a worker bring my son to my home for me to see for 1hr. This occurred once as the worker claimed that she was scared to come to my home.
I was also allowed to meet my son and daughter at marymead childrens center for supervised 2hr visits once a fortnight.
Still i did not know where my son was living.
I was then admitted to QE2 hospital for families for 5 days to see if i was able to care for my son However the workers there were intimidated by my partner and refused to allow him there with me.
I felt that i needed his support to be able to care for my child and as a result became very anxious when ever some one was watching me with my baby.
I left QE2 and the staff there wrote a report saying i was not comfortable caring for my child and they thought it best he not be returned to my care at that time.
After that all contact stopped contact with my kids contact with docs everything.
About 1 yr later i managed to leave my partner and started getting my life together.
I started looking into what had actually happened and realised that it was all wrong!
I had been wrong about a lot of things and i wanted to start making it right.
I started having contact with my daughter again First starting with me going to her daycare and spending time with her there then i was able to have her stay with me over night and Family services ACT helped me to work out a restoration plan to have my daughter come back to be living with me.
I had to undergo lots of assessments and such but it was worth it. My daughter has now been living with me for the last 6 years and we are still going strong with no interference for Family Services.
However my son had been made a ward of the state of NSW.
I found this out after speaking with my mum.
My mum had found out a lot of not so right thing about my sons case,such as
1. The foster carers who were looking after my son were personally associated with my DOCS case worker, Their kids went to school together they went to the same church and it had been documented that the case worker and the foster mother were "best friends"
2. DOCS had applied for a ward ship order without having even attempted contact with my family to see if a kinship placement would be possible.
3. The foster carers had asked DOCS for permission to get my son christened Greek Orthodox.
My Aunt suggested that she would talk with docs to let them know that she would be prepared to care for *H* to get him "back in the family".
We all went to case meetings and during these meetings things that were added by the foster carers not only shocked my family but frightened us so much that we never get *H* to be back with us.
Things such as "DOCS told us that we would be keeping *H*"
"*H* has now been written into our life plan wills etc"
"we wont give him back"
We ended up going to court to have *H* removed from the foster carers and placed back with his family, my family. *H* was now 2.5 yrs old.
That was all fine until My aunt*N*started showing major signs of not coping with looking after *H*
*N*was sending *H* to play therapy to other people to care for him because she cant handle him.
*N* started making comments such as "*H* is a little bastard"
(this was said in front of him)
"Im just about ready to hand him back to DOCS"
"Its time for someone else to care for him"
"I am not going to put my life on hold for*H*"
"He can go back to the foster carers I dont care as long as i dont have to look after him"
"I wish he would just act like a normal person not a animal"
"Living with *H* is like living with a violent husband"
I guess by now you get the idea, Most of this was recorded as it was written to various people in my family via email.
I took this as a sign she was not coping at all. I offered to care for my son,I was in a much better position and able to provide the care that he would require,I had learnt to deal with my depression and was now stable in my living arrangements an employment and my daughter had been in my care full time for about 2 years.
When i offered to assist *N* with *H* she told me she didnt want my help "anyway DOCS would have to say that you could have him"
I went to DOCS with copies of these emails and expressed my desire to have my son replaced with me, The case worker at the time said that "there would be no need for assessment as the concerns that docs had originally were no longer concerns"
The case worker at that time told me she could see that *N* was not coping and that she could assist me in have the court papers written up and have *H* placed back with me. 2 days later she was removed from *H* case.
I gained legal advice as the new case worker said she had no concerns for *H* in his current placement even after having seen the emails from my aunt
We ended up going to court and i with my legal aid lawyer lost our fight, I have since been having fortnightly contact with my son however have been told that he will never be placed back in my care.
The department is still trying to use scare tactics on me with things such as ,If you dont stop fighting over *H*(me and my aunt)we will remove him and place him in foster care and you will only get to see him 4 times a year.
DOCS wont let me see *H* on Easter Christmas or his birthday there for ruining all the special days for both my kids.
My aunt is still poisoning my son against me by telling him things like "Bella tells lies about you, All the family went to court and lied about you". *H* asked me about this with tears in his eyes because he believed that we had all lied about him.
She tells him he was born from her heart not mine
such things to say to a 8 yr old boy.
I am currently looking to take out a personal loan to pay for the best lawyer i can get to help me to get my son back with me or at very least to get set amount of contact so that my aunt and the department cant keep changing my contact to give my son less time to be with me and his sister.


If anyone can give me any advice on how to deal with these people or who i can contact to get any assistance please feel free to message me
Thanks for reading
Bella

sorry this post is so long but tis is the short version and it felt good to get it out
Bella

This sound like a conflict of interest.

You will find some good help here from some of the girls on this site.
If you want to talk to any of them privately via the PM service go for it you have my blessing.

It seems to me that your situation is very typical Bella and not at all unique.

I've been dealing with DoCS for over 2 years now and I didn't have to read far into your story to pick up their "concerns" about you. Concerns for DoCS are exactly the same regardless of the family - we all get tarred with the same brush.

It doesn't matter which state the Department is in - all offices manage their cases in exactly the same way and it's next to illegal.

I have no idea what Orders are in place in regard to your son - but having your daughter in your care is an advantage.

The most obvious thing I see - and no doubt you see this too - is that you need to get your child away from your Aunt.

I would like to know if you are having supervised visit with your son. If you aren't - you have an open doorway for video taping your son's emotional reactions to what your Aunt is saying to him and video is a huge advantage... It's leverage.

At the end of the day - it's all about what is in the best interest of your child. If your boy is displaying such emotional reactions in your Aunt's house as well as during contact with you then him living in that home is NOT in his best interest.

I would like to know more about what is going on in your situation. I think I can come up with some useful ideas to help you.

Hi,

Well done Bella for putting you story out there. I have read it (along with many others I am sure) with great interest.

I see that docs would have removed your child siting that you were not being the protective parent staying on in a domestic violent relationship.
Now of course the goal posts have moved. It ain't about this anymore or anything to do with your child's best interests but about egos.

I am not surprised by your story.
And without ever having met you I could guess you are probably a very attentive, loving, caring mother.

It has stirred me up reading your posting.
I think rainbowchaser will have some sound advice. PM her with the nitty gritty.

Aww, thanks thisisgood.

One thing that is very true across the board with what I assume is all DoCS offices is that goal posts are most definitely constantly being moved.

I think that all parents who are involved with DoCS find that the the issues that get their families dragged into the system are not the issues that are "fixed" in the end.

I have been dealing with DoCS for so long that I can't even recall the original "concerns".

My case has evolved from a break to a child's arm (with admission by DoCS that it may very well have been an accident) to an open bottle of bleach on the bathroom vanity to not having enough toys for the children and Miss 8 being diagnosed with Growth Hormone Deficiency.

is a very funny thing...they handed my grandsons back to their vilolent father who has a l ong criminal record and charges he was never served with in his alleged dealings with another young boy.....Daddy has heaps of money.......and he is not innocent in this abuse either.....but the beasts ignored that , even threatening our whole family ...using his "political" punch..... boy id only he knows what he took on with me......no wonder the bully hides......and he controlled the henchmen.....