I've procrastinated sharing more of my California spirit adventures because it's so deep and difficult to sort through in order to put it all into words. But I will just start and let it flow and see what comes out...

As I said in the Yogi thread, I could not find any book to read, nothing that appealed to me despite searching book stores. So said a little prayer and asked that if there is a book I should read that would be appropriate and good for me at this time, then please lead me to it. Shortly after I came upon this title and I felt it was the one.





When I got back to my room I began reading it. It sounded like the same basic knowledge that I've gained from reading Seth, and the Yogi, but unique in its presentation. The book suggested attempting to materialize something physical. It further suggested that this object be an amethyst Maltese cross, and noted not to be disappointed if didn't materialize on the first try, but that every attempt of intention creates at some level. I understood.

So I made a cursorily attempt at materializing the cross, but it didn't happen. Still, I took it for what it was supposed to be...a beginning.

A couple of days later, in a different town, we were offered tickets to an antique fair nearby. We decided to go. As we walked through the aisles of displays of all sorts of antiques, I noticed over and over many amethyst Maltese crosses. I don't know if I've ever seen one before, but here I saw dozens. And although I did not materialize the one I initially attempted to conjure, I felt that there was no doubt that I brought this assortment of amethyst Maltese crosses into my reality through the intention.

I have not tried to materialize anything else specifically since then, but I have used the techniques offered as exercises in spiritual growth.

And when I had the Yogi/spirit/infinity experience weeks later at the end of my holiday, I felt that St Germain was in on that as well. However that may be.

Anyway, after the antique fair, that evening back at the resort I went to the spa near the pool with my husband. There I met a woman who scared the heck out of me. I couldn't tell if she was drunk or crazy or both, but she was quite loud, seemed immature, and freely swore while she played aggressive splashing games with her husband in the pool.

I am somewhat shy (or so I think) and I felt super uncomfortable with them there and I was glad they were not in the spa area. However, she had left a can of beer next to the spa and I heard her say loudly, "God, I hope those people don't drink my beer!"

I was kinda mortified and yet for some reason decided to take the beer out to her. She was an interesting looking woman with red hair and orangey-brown eyes that reminded me of my own eyes. She stepped up the short steps leading out of the pool and took my hand and sweetly, but firmly insisted I come into the pool. I was comforted and terrified at the same time.

She asked me my name and I told her (unfortunately). So she kept calling me by name and loudly speaking out to her husband, mine, and then referring back to me in her strange rant-like dialogues. Finally she decided to join my husband in the spa, and I gratefully stayed in the swimming pool talking to her husband, who it turns out was an amazingly intelligent gold-mine engineer.

After a while the woman, I'll call her "H", began yelling out to me how much she loved my husband and referring to me as a "bitch" and saying other harsh things. I think she was joking, but I was just utterly freaked out. My husband seemed just fine though as if he found it funny and her husband just continued to enlighten me and answer my questions on how to extract gold (another amazing spiritual link throughout my trip - the continuous references to gold!).

H was getting so loud I finally decided to go to the spa in hopes she would simmer down. She clung to me when I entered the spa and treated me like someone very close to her, like a sister (freaking me out). She talked non-stop about things in her life as if I knew all about them and we were just reliving them. Finally(!) pool closing time came. H wanted to know what room we were in (oh no) and nearly invited herself to spend the next day with us, but I basically began running, or walking very swiftly away and got out of having to say no or allow her to make plans with me.

That night I had strong dreams and spirit experiences in the night. I woke knowing that my experience with H was spiritual and had helped me face some of my fears and poked at my ego/shell and insecurities. I can't now recall the specifics of the messages I received, but I thanked my spirit guides, felt a weight off my shoulders, and hoped that I was now free from more experiences with H. And I was free for that particular day and evening, but the next night, we went down to the spa and she was back.

This time she insisted so strongly that we come back to her room for drinks. Oh how I did not want to! And yet, I could not be rude and I could not say no. Plus, my husband really liked the couple and had lots in common with H's husband. So I went back to their room.

When we got there H couldn't have been more hospitable and open. She showed us every intimate thing she had with her, the jewellery they had just bought her, clothes, her medications, etc. She easily told me all of her issues with massive panic attacks (and I could see it had led to her drinking a lot to keep calm). Look, she was crazy to some degree, she really was, and yet she was also very real, very amazingly real.

I thought to myself how I have always wanted to have a good long chat with a schizophrenic person or someone really reality-challenged, because I've always thought that they have an open channel to God/spirit that they just can't close and so it is constant high-intensity and really leaves them no choice but to abandon etiquette and silly proper social rules because it takes all of their energy just to exist. Something like that anyway. So I thought, H seems to me like one of these people, one who is so open to spirit she appears crazy. I'm going to go with this (though it is scaring me) because this is happening to me for a reason and it truly is something I have always wanted to experience.

So I opened myself up as much as I could and boy was it hard. I let go of my fears and reservations and allowed her to guide me. She sat outside on the small patio area (as she smoked a lot and it had to be outside). She pulled up a patio chair right in front of hers and plonked me down in it so our knees were touching. She looked me right in the eyes there in the dimly lit dark. There were things about her I really liked. Something very intensely pure and sweet, but coupled with something wild and scary. She grabbed my hands and held them in hers and as she stared into my eyes she began singing a song (loudly at 11 pm). I don't know what the song is and though I tried to search for it based on some of the lyrics I remember, I haven't found it, but I think it is a contemporary country-western song. It was about a girl who looked into an ancient painting of her ancestors and they stared back at her and told her how proud they were of her and how they were her guardian angels.

As she sang I allowed myself to be present as much as I could and look her back in the eye as she sang. Her face seemed to shift in the darkness and I saw some of the faces of "the mother" of my spirit. I knew that they were speaking to me through her in the best way they knew how (and it was hard for them). I started to realize that they were giving me a gift if I could bear to take it as they worked their will through this very open-spirited woman. I wavered a bit between realizing the magic of the moment, and wanting to flee and write it all off as nuts, but mostly I took it and tried to treasure it as the gift it was intended to be.

At the time of the singing, it was really quite shocking the apt words of the song and the way her face seemed to shift into familiar yet unsettling entities I know and that I come from.

After the song she seemed a lot more normal. She talked for a long time about her amazing life as a model when she was younger, then a hardcore biker girl, a spontaneous musician (no lessons, but could sit down and play by ear various instruments including piano), etc. She was extremely intelligent, but uneducated. It was fascinating. But she had lots of anxiety, and as I said, suffered greatly from panic disorder. I spent a few hours listening to her and learning about her. And yet, I still had remnants of fear and feelings of wanting to flee.

(More to come)...

Alisa I loved hearing your story OMG I felt like I was reading a novel LOL! what a intricate and interesting lady you came across! I can relate to you on how you just want to run away when weird people cling on to you. For some reason strangers for no apparent reason always felt comfortable with me. They would go on and on about their life stories and all their personal business. I'm also using the word "strangers" in reference to co- workers, associates, long distant relatives etc... people like that. I remember telling my roommate up in Cali how one of my colleagues a young 19 year old girl just decided that we were best friends one day. I mean I barely spoke to her and barely saw her when I was at work, but she would tell me stuff like she had an abortion and then that would lead to other personal revelations that you would not tell just anybody especially a co-worker that you barely knew. I guess she looked at me as an older sister and I realize that I get that a lot. People always come to me for advise and just for a shoulder they could cry on or a ear that would listen. I don't mind it I just wish that I can take my own advice sometimes!

When I hear about "H" this kinda person reminds me of her. But Boy was that a weird and awkward situation you was in. You are just to nice Alisa I would just have been rude and declined her offer. I guess I'm just to straightforward with people how you are "shy" with others. I'm so glad you realized that this was indeed a lesson from spirit and the song was a gift for you. Just hearing what the song was is quite eerie that she would just come out the blue and sing that. Was she drunk? Man this is a good story I can't wait to hear more.

With the amethyst cross could it be perhaps you did manifest it in another sorta way that that's why you came across dozen of them in the antique shop? Almost like you consciously put it out there for the universe and instead of you manifesting it on your own you manifest the synochrocity of it in the physical world. Any whoo just a thought good story! "H" makes me laugh!:)

Aww, thanks so much for the feedback OQ! And thanks for reading. I realize I left the story high and dry, but I ran out of steam and had to stop somewhere. I keep worrying that the whole experience will be lost, especially the more time that passes before I spit it out.

Thanks for sharing about your experience with the co-worker and people leaning on you. You are a very strong and compassionate woman.

I think I have a weakness in being unable to say "no", it is true. Yet at the same time, I also feel that it enables me to give everyone a chance. I suppose the point for me is to continue to seek balance in acceptance of "all" and yet not letting myself be bulldozed over.

Let me see if I can resume the story...

We finally managed to get free in the wee hours. I swear my husband could have stayed there forever. He wasn't bothered at all by H and her strange behaviour. He even said she reminded him of me! But its like I needed to hear that and it was also like I could see his point as well. I might be very polite to strangers, but I can definitely be crass and rude around people I'm used to.

That night I had more interesting dreams and spirit lessons. I woke with one word in my mind - VRIL! I knew I had heard it before, but I wasn't sure what it was. I looked it up and found it to be another name for "chi" or life force energy. It seemed so important to me, that word, and I began reading the short book (available on line) called: Vril, The Power of the Coming Race, which had many amazing spiritual syncs in it, not to mention that I felt it was definitely based on reality, but I digress.

The next evening I did not want to go to the pool, but my husband did. He said if I would go he would make sure we did not get hooked into spending time with H, but I just didn't want to chance that, so I stayed in the room and he went. He said he'd be back in 45 minutes. Two hours later he was still not back. I started to doze off, but then I woke with a start. I began to worry about how crazy H might be. I did a crossword puzzle and all of the answers were unsettling words like, "kill" and "violent". It started eating me up that he wasn't back when he knew that I was freaked out by those people.

I became really angry. (I think it was all a spiritual lesson, especially in hindsight.) I decided that despite my reluctance to see those people, I was going to go to their room and see what was going on (and let my husband know I was angry). I marched down to their room and when I entered their patio, the lights were on and they were all talking, etc. When H saw me her eyes lit up and she said, "Baby Girl, I knew you would come!" The weird thing about that is, my key girls (and you know who you are) have all called me that, like it is a special sisterhood password! I was kinda stunned, but my anger was greater and I said, "I don't want to come in, I came here to get my husband!" (And I rarely am so bold to a "stranger".) She said, "Come in and have a drink." And I said, "No!!" She realized I was really angry, and I felt I had to keep the anger up in order to follow through. I got my husband and we went back to our room. I felt bad (like a true grouch), but I also broke a spell that I was under, too. I had feared I could not stand up to her, and now I had and it put me on a more equal ground. Strange as it all sounds...I felt it was all intentional, good, and had brought some equilibrium to the situation.

That night I had an altered-state experience that reminded me of the movie Tron, where I saw levels that reminded me of two checker boards or circuit boards with space between. The lower level was like water, and the upper, was dark. In between was golden light, and H was in this golden light, calling to me excitedly, trying to explain it all to me but it was beyond my full comprehension. The gist of it was that she was telling me to come in between, into the gold light, that this was the "answer" to my spiritual quest (these are my interps in the morning). I knew there was a connection between the light and vril. And in retrospect now, I realize it was the same message as the Yogi gave to me (the following week)...to realize the light (that I am made of light) and to live in the light between the spirit and material world.

All of my fear and disdain for H was gone. If anything, I wanted to see her. It was our last full day at the resort (Thanksgiving Day). We serendipitously (who am I kidding, synchronistically) bumped into her husband in the parking lot at noon. I had been so abrupt the night before that I felt he was a little reserved. I asked if we could come over and see H. He said we could. When we got there she was somewhat subdued (probably hungover). We spent time chatting outside and then some others joined in from the room above. The jokes and witty banter began to fly and everyone was in fits of laughter for hours.

The next morning as we packed to leave, we went down to say goodbye. I felt a sadness knowing I would probably never see her again. She was very normal and subdued again. I felt love for her and I know she did for me as well.

The End.

I might mention that during the hours we spent talking on those nights, she kept looking over me and around me (same thing I do all the time) as she was noting spirit around the grounds. Ha ha. I knew she could see spirit and a couple of times she mentioned little things (like the tones/noises the berries were making in a nearby bush), but she had been teased about it often in the past, I could tell, so she was keeping most of it to herself (if only she realized that I would have been respectful and eager to hear all she knew and could perceive).

P.S. I've learned a lot from writing this out, and I thank you Orb-Queen for encouraging me and giving me feedback. Whenever I write something out on the forum, my journal, or in emails, it allows me to see the details and make more connections, it's like working out math in long-form on scratch paper. The answers make that much more sense.

Alisa I've been wanting to reply to this story again for a while now, but I thought I already did it wasn't until I reread that I notice I haven't! I do appologize! I love hearing your stories so keep writing them. I must admit that I laughed at the part about the scrabble puzzle lol! she annoyed you that much huh? and I can't ever imagine YOU being so angry and brass! If I haven't heard this from anybody but yourself I would have said "no way not my Alisa" LOL but I am proud of you for not backing down and showing H what you really were made of! it's actually kinda weird how you had a yin and yang feelings with her. It's like you dislike her but then you don't. You want her to leave but at the same time you miss her. This is indeed a strange relationship to have with a total stranger. Did you think you got more angry and annoyed with her since your husband said she reminded of you? maybe your psyche interpreted that as a insult kinda like a "how dare you" thing which made you have more disdain for her. All in all this was a very interesting story to hear. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Thanks for the feedback Orb Queen. It's understandable that you can't imagine me being angry because I don't show it on-line or in any controlled situations. But I do have a flash temper. I'm getting better at being a calm person, but I know my root is in fire. Gotta tame my fire.

I like how you said, "This is indeed a strange relationship to have with a total stranger." It really was. But this does happen to me every so often, so.

Did I get more angry and annoyed because D (husband) said she reminded him of me? Yeah, yes I did. I thought she was horrific initially. She seemed so overpowering and domineering. And could be quite unrefined. Oh well! I don't mind now so much because I saw that she was very special. Maybe I was repulsed by the similarities I saw in the H "mirror".

I appreciate you giving me your ear as I share this stuff. It helps me.