04.09.11

I woke at 3 am with the fleeting knowledge of all that is and is to become of me and of the earth, etc., running through my mind. �I tried to go back to sleep and opened my mind to speaking with someone (whoever was available and would serve me best). �As I would breathe in I'd ask the question then as I breathed out, an entity would answer or speak. It was a soft but callous or angry energy that spoke to me. It stated that it would rip (or scratch) my head off. I got the image of a line drawing of a spider and scratching off the small head (on a large body). So I began asking it questions. I asked who was saying this. It said, "infrastructure". I asked it why it was saying this.�It said something along the lines of, "because I am smarter than you," (though smarter also meant "more" ). I asked why again and It said, "I can't talk to you anymore." I felt it meant that was all it could or would say. �When I try to reason what it meant, it was that it would do this head-removing for the good of the whole or for betterment. I think there was the message that I need to be purely who I am, transparent and open (unafraid). At least I feel this is what I should strive for and I align myself with this will that wants it of me.

I became lucid in my dream in the early morning hours. I made a mental note that I was suddenly lucid and knew I was in bed dreaming. I looked down and saw a large orangish rock by my feet. I noted how real it looked, but also that it was a hologram because it was a dream. I was next to the ocean, standing on a grassy edge above the beach. My pre-determined rule to fly when lucid, kicked in. I noted the feeling, being more focused and conscious as I am these days, of allowing myself, willing myself, to lift off. �I realized to not focus on the ground or gravity, letting any such thoughts fall away. As I began to fly I considered that I didn't need to "try"' to fly, that it was my intent to fly and then releasing resistance which made it so. And upon this realization, I remembered a lucid experience in the past where I totally let go and allowed a greater force (higher self) to control it all. And as in the experience where I had let go, I began to move faster. I wondered how fast I would end up moving and if it would become like a wormhole, as it did before. �But I think I either let go so completely that I became so fast that I was instantaneous, or, that I just could no longer take my consciousness with me such speed, as I became unconscious or don't remember what came next.