Yes Alisa I can say more about her death, but I was trying not to leave too much negative energy in your beautiful forum. I would prefer to take it to a new forum to isolate the nastyness that lurks in that experience...if you don't mind.

I know what you mean about the distance thing.The last 3 yrs of my mom's life, we lived seperated(she in VA, me in OH.). And yes, that distance did make some things a little easier. I too learned not to be so co-dependant. But at the same time, I started to forget how to ask for help.

I'm sorry your mom had to battle cancer...just shows what a strong soul she is, as that is a battle that I believe only the bravest of souls could face. Very BRAVE soul indeed....I once heard the coolest thing on bravery in a movie, I think it was Bounce(starring Gwen & Ben).

In the scene,Gwenith Paltrow is talking about how she almost gave birth in the backseat of a car. She proceeds to tell Ben Afflec how she broke her husband's nose in trying to climb into the bkseat(incase the baby came sooner than later). After his nose gets broken, she realizes that now she has to drive herself to the hospital, with a bleeding husband in the front seat, as she's contracting & trying not to wreck or give birth to this baby in a car! Well at some point in her story Ben says to Gwen,(both in character) "You are such a brave woman, where do woman get their bravery?" she replies with "What?... are you kidding, I was so scared!" And Ben looks at her & says ...."It's not BRAVE if your not SCARED." That one line in that movie, made me fully understand what BRAVERY truley is! And I was already a grown woman at that point.

So that's how I know your mom was so brave. I believe we all choose what obstacles,trials & tribulations we will face during our short stay here on earth. I think we choose those things knowing that it will be hard, it will be challenging, it will be scarey, & sometimes it will hurt. But we choose these things to teach our souls the very important things that can't be learned on the other side, as it is so perfect there. So your mom knew, she picked that battle, knew it was going to be a tough fight, & picked it anyway to teach her soul & ours BRAVERY! That's what I believe anyway. Because on the other side there is no fear, so in order for our souls to know, feel and experience bravery - we have to come here to know, feel & experience fear. IT"S NOT BRAVE IF YOU'RE NOT SCARED...what words of wisdom.

And I look at her battle as successful(not implying that you don't)! Because weather or not our human side thinks the fight was won or lost, our soul side knows that the intended lesson was taught & learned. And that is the success!!! Now she can fully understand what it is to BE brave. And if she chooses to become some soul's guide while on the other side, assisting that soul during it's stay here on earth, she will be well equipt in supporting that soul as it deals w/fear & bravery during it's life/coarse here on earth. And being able to relate to those particular emotions, she will be able to offer better assistance to all she teaches & guides.

Very good outlook you have on things Alisa, you seem to find the positive in everything. Looks like you taught eachother well. And I know that every time you battle something that scares the crap outta you, mom is standing there right by your side, holding your hand whispering "C'mon baby, we learned this together when I was with you, we KNOW this one - & I'm still here with you...be BRAVE!"

Your picture speaks a thousand words to me...I love it!