Wow. What a great description he writes. And thank you so much for sharing this, Flux. Amazing the similarities I have with this guy (he is schizophrenic, right?).

I have always thought (when studying psychology) that schizophrenics seem to experience a larger reality without the comfort of the many walls most people have. I have been dismantling my walls, but I am lucky to be doing it through my own will rather than having all the walls suddenly removed, as seems the case in "the development" of schizophrenia.

I feel no shame whatsoever in saying that I can relate to schizophrenics. Bless their hearts. Opening the mind to some of the larger reality is so dang scary, let alone all of it at once. And I believe it is intentionally scary because if we were familiar with the larger "whole" we would want to merge right back into it rather than experience this necessary opportunity for growth as individuals.

I also believe that for me, I need to break down those walls and get back to origin (the whole) while I am conscious and alive. This is what keeps me pressing on and knocking down walls despite the sometimes paralysing fears I have had to face. For example, the funnel web spider that represented my attachment to mother...that was probably amongst my biggest fears. Funny to think that, as I do love my mother. But to cut that cord, that really took all my strength. I almost thought I couldn't. And that the spider buried it's fangs into the flesh of my hand as I grasped it and tore it in half...sounds quite similar to this guy's experience with the teeth dripping acid.

To me, it is literal and symbolic. Whenever I have had big fears, they manifest as spiders. I mean, I hate to say it, even to myself, but I think this means that the bigger "whole" I come from must be spidery. The fear was implanted so strongly to keep me from it. And it sure has worked. I iz arachnophobic very!

Thanks for sharing this, Flux. If any more of it wants sharing...I'm all ears!