Hi
I signed up here a while ago, but haven't posted before. Sometimes the time isn't right. Now it seems it is.

I feel a bit like a refugee. I left the Christian church about 3 years ago and entered a time of waiting and watching to see what would come next. Reading what JimJam wrote in the thread on "what does the Son of God mean to you..." so resonated with me and where I am at now. The trouble is the path I have followed since then has taken me through a time of being very scientifically rational about everything. That's all very well, but it's hamstrung my ability to believe somewhat. I need that spiritual dimension so badly, so I am trying to move forward and find the things that are spiritually real for me again.

On Friday I was browsing in a bookshop and picked up a copy of "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian Weiss M.D. It was just the sort of account I needed to restore some of my belief in something after this life - and before, for that matter.

My next task is to learn to use and trust my intuition. I feel my years as a Christian (a deeply committed one at that) did much to damage my faith and trust in myself. It may take a while, but with slow steps I'll get there. The first step will be taking time to re-imagine myself so I have something to aim for, or grow towards. Part of that journey will be to embark on the path of druidry by doing the courses offered by the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids (OBOD) which I will probably only be able to do next year, when I have finished paying off the counselling course I am currently doing.

Establishing a presence here, seems the right thing to do. Alisa's gracious way of accepting all that is offered and acknowledging the truth in it is just the remedy for my doubts and apprehensions. A short while ago I would have been the number one scoffer and derider. But that was then. This is now. Growth is about being willing to learn and change even to radically opposite stances.

Hi I'm glad you finally post welcome back to the site! I can understand where you come from I put up a little bit of my background in respond to jimjam's post "what does the son of God mean to you" also. I'm excited to have a new person in the swing of our little discussions here! It's always refreshing to meet new people and I know you're going to love it! we have some great thinkers and wise women here men too of course LOL!:)

Hello back Dragonwyst. I'm so glad that you decided to post, welcome to the AUS-CITY forums, we're glad to have you. You are free to be as spiritually confused as you wish here, there's no judgment, pressure or expectations here at AUS-CITY. It's a great place to just...BE. No labels.

First let me commend you on your honesty. It takes a lot to admit something so personal to complete strangers, especially something as sacred as ones faith. I hope you find what it is you're looking for spiritually/religiously. Probably one of the hardest things in life to do, is to let go of something that doesn't work for you anymore & go in search of something that DOES. It takes a lot of courage & you should at least know what a brave step you're taking.

That being said, I think learning to trust your intuition is a great way to get the ball rolling in finding your spiritual niche. For you to even know that you need to do that, is a great start in your new spiritual venture. Trusting your intuition & learning to use it on a regular basis is imperative in spiritual growth - IMO.

I understand your scientific stance & the urge to go with the scientific aspect of things. When I walked away from Catholicism, as I said in the "...son of God..." (and thanks to you for reading my post, I'm glad you could relate to it a bit) post, I myself turned to the more scientific answers where creation/spirituality was concerned. But what I found, was that even science didn't explain "me" as a whole, as much as I hoped it would. Although I could never deny some of the scientific answers that I stumbled across, I also couldn't "connect" EVERYTHING about me as a human being, with just science. I began to feel like BOTH science & spirituality are the two main ingredients that make up "who" & "what" I am - my essence, that is. I believe that one can't exist w/out the other; SCIENCE/SPIRITUAL AWARENESS. But those are just my beliefs & they don't work for everyone.

I've heard of that book by Brian Weiss, I think I'll check it out myself. Thanks.

To "re-imagine myself"...brilliant! What a perfect way to describe a makeover for the body, mind & soul. It couldn't be closer to the truth too. You are what you believe you are. I have always thought the word "imagine" to be a very misleading word, referring to something unattainable or not real. It took me half my life to realize that imagine is just another word for create. If you imagine yourself to be spiritually secure, you will become spiritually secure. Thought is creation, therefore, imagination = creation.

You really are off to such a great start Dragonwyst, you seem intuitive, open-minded & ready to take on the more advanced lessons that your soul/spirit is yearning for. And the clarity that comes to an open & willing mind, is surpassed by nothing.

In closing I'd just like to say to you that I understand your feelings of beingspiritually devoid or lost. This too shall pass. You will find your way again, whether it's realizing that you miss your Christian faith, or finding a new faith of your own, it will come...especially to someone who is so honest & focused on finding it.

I'm glad that you reached out to the wonderful people here at AUS-CITY. I hope you enjoy expressing your thoughts & ideas here, as we are all a warm bunch who love to discuss things of that sort & learn from each other. I look forward to discussing with you as you feel comfortable, & learning from you as well.

In the words of the awesome Tom Petty, "You don't have to live like a refugee" - You now have a home...welcome home

It's nice to meet you Dragonwyst,
~Jaime~ (jimjam)

Thank you for the welcome, Orb Queen and Jaime.

In my case, Jaime, re-imagining myself is the logical thing to do. I noticed over the years that when ever I read fantasy books I was most drawn to or most identified with the Gandalf type characters - the wise woman of the woods, the priestess/advisor to the king, characters that often were solitary, possibly religious in a monastic sort of way, inclined to be on the borders of society. Through the years of growing into greater self-acceptance and less self-criticism, I discovered that imagining myself as being that sort of person helped me to feel strong, free and empowered. I initially used Woodwynd as an online name and it fitted where I was at.

It was after moving to Australia from South Africa some four and a half years ago that I found myself confronted by dragons, by needing to explore and accept the darker aspects of myself and found that I was not just quiet and contemplative, but in possession of an aspect of myself that was warrior. The Woodwynd name no longer fit, and I changed to Dragonwyst.

So, having already done some imagining of who and what I am, it follows that the image needs to be progressed to incorporate new possibilities. Over the years, from time to time I have been open to such things as drawing strength from trees. But each time my mind has returned to the familiar and safe territory of the rational and concrete. the trouble is that if there are Master Spirits out there wanting to help me to help others, that pattern needs to change. I want to learn to be open to possibilities and interpretations - to gods and dragons. After all, I've done my stint of committed Christian, I've tried agnostic/atheist. Life would be boring if I didn't give thorough dose of the esoteric a good try!

Welcome, Dragonwyst! I'm so happy you've joined in. And I feel all aglow from Jaime and Orb Queen's welcomes to you... realizing at yet another deeper level how truly surrounded I am by the cream of the crop, the goddesses incarnate, the ultimate sister humans.

I also read "Many Lives, Many Masters" at a pivotal point in my path - when the rationality of science through Weiss's Psychiatric credentials, and credibility, helped ease me across the bridge from atheism into personal spirituality. It is a great book!

Another book I read that fascinated me and comes to my mind at this point is "The Andreasson Affair". It may be beyond your belief at this juncture, but it is about a Christian woman who experienced and lucidly recalled detailed alien encounters. Not only is it an excellent read for exploring amazing otherwordly things, but it also provides a fabulous example of belief integration as Mrs. Andreasson maintained and adeptly reconciled her Christian beliefs with her undeniable alien experiences. Anyway, I think it is a cool book.

Here is a quote that captured my attention from an interview with her in UFO Digest (Interview).



Again, welcome Dragonwyst...thanks for sharing, and so glad you are here!