So serving others is not wanting to hurt others? Because I still thought of myself as STS despite knowing to respect others. After all, if I hurt others it hurts me, and I don't want to be hurt. How I always considered myself to be serving myself is that all of my motives, even when I give to others, is in the end because of how "I" feel when I give. Ultimately every move that feels right to me that I make is selfish because it is based on how it makes me feel. When I am serving others against my own will, I feel very angry.
One does not "want" whilst serving others. Whether the want is for the safety or health of another, in reality this is still wanting for the self. Giving to another for how it makes you feel is still self servitude. This is the disillusion of many whom give to "feel good" and believe they are "doing good".
The "mirror" reflects all. To hurt another is to hurt the self. To give - to truly give - to another is the same. The universe is in perfect balance, thus if something is truly given, then by universal law, an equal return shall be received. And this returns us to the "faith" or "belief" as we have discussed previously.
For example, if my son's school asks me to proof read their policies for feedback, and I do this because I enjoy proofing things, then they are happy and I am happy. If they ask me to attend a bake sale or fundraiser, I don't like this, and if I went I would be miserable. Maybe they would be happy. But I can't do it for them because it does not serve my happiness.
Perhaps I might point out that the STO polarity does not imply slavery by consent, or any such similar notion.
That said though, one should not expect the asking or the task at hand to be either pleasant or enjoyable. It may be, it may not. It also depends on the individual - things need not feel miserable despite the (perceived) circumstance.
So THAT is what I base STS on and why I say I am STS. Finally I have defined it!
The objective is to see self as it is without the bias instead of seeing what one wants to see or is conditioned to see.
Relate this to conscious self awareness if you will.
So to get back on topic, we are defining the positive path, which is relinquishing unwanted emotions as opposed to banishing them, correct?
Yes that is correct enough with language limitations.
In the past I have used restrictions and barriers to shape myself and my path. Now I must see a way of shaping myself without barriers. Or is "shaping myself" even what I am after at all?
"Must" is a considerably limited concept. But if you "must" then you must let go of this "trying", "wanting", expecting.
Perhaps either an example situation to consider or return to the concept to understand for the next move...
